


Take My Hand, Take My Whole Heart Too

by ch_errywrites



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood in love, Alec Lightwood-centric, Alternate Universe, Canon Related, Domestic Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Happy Ending, Happy Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Insecure Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane Loves Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Fluff, Marriage Proposal, Mundane Magnus Bane, No Angst, Protective Alec Lightwood, Supportive Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:41:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22709413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ch_errywrites/pseuds/ch_errywrites
Summary: Alec gets to do what he originally wanted for Magnus and they actually know how to communicate
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 5
Kudos: 137





	Take My Hand, Take My Whole Heart Too

**Author's Note:**

> Surprise!
> 
> I'm back!
> 
> Yes! First fic of the year, I'm so excited! I know this might now be what my Twitter followers were expecting, but I promise the Ice Skating/Hockey Playing au will be up soon too. This one was just finished first lol.
> 
> Sometimes when I'm bored I'll day dream about Malec, because I miss them, and I found myself wondering how Alec would have proposed had he gotten the chance so I wrote my own version. Also they deserve all the happiness in the world, so I gave it to them!!!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy!

Alec had never felt so nervous about anything in his life.

As he thought those words he couldn't help but check under the silver platters lid, making sure for the 15th time that the ring was still sitting in its bed of flowers. It was. It obviously wasn't going to grow legs and run away but Alec couldn't hold back the urge to check and make sure it hadn't disappeared. Magnus would be on the balcony any minute now and he just wanted everything to be perfect. Everything Magnus deserved.

A part of him was still stunned that he had actually gone to his mother the other night and had actually asked her for  _ the  _ family ring. A small part of him thought this was all a dream, that he had chickened out and was now asleep dreaming about what ifs. But that wasn't true, was it. He was here. About to propose to the love of his life.

Alec knew,  _ he knew,  _ there was a chance Magnus would say no, and if he did Alec would respect that, but  _ god  _ he couldn't wait to see the ring on Magnus' gorgeous hands. Couldn't wait to show off his fiance to the world. Couldn't wait to rub it into the faces of the people that never believed they stood a chance.

As if the fates knew he was thinking of him, there was a light knock on the door across the room. Alec scrambled to put the lid back down and quickly check that everything was still in order around him then the door opened and Alec lost his ability to breath.

Magnus was...there were no words that could describe the level of beauty that Magnus was, magnificent, gorgeous, exquisite.

He was always beautiful to Alec no matter what he was doing or wearing and he didn't know if it was the significance of what he intended to do tonight or just the way Magnus made him feel in general but Alec's heart felt as if it was going to race out of his chest and into the sky.

Magnus was dressed on the simple side, without his magic he wasn't able to add all the extra things that he liked to, but he had begun to re-master his makeup and still had a general sense for what looked good. And boy, did he look good. The red button up was simple but elegant, the sleeves flaring as they got closer to his wrists and the buttons shined when the light hit them just right. There was only one necklace hanging from his neck but the chain on the collar of the shirt served just like one. He had his signature ear cuff on along with a few rings adoring his fingers. Alec's heart stopped when he spotted the "B" hoping that Magnus would wear a new one alongside it. His dress pants hugged his legs in the best way possible, but when Alec's eyes finally landed on his face, he let out the breath he had been holding in.

Magnus, even without all of his flair, looked so outrageously gorgeous. The light in his eyes wasn't as bright anymore, but there was still a little twinkle of happiness, hope that all was not lost. His eyes had a light dusting of eyeshadow and lined in kohl. It made the pools of honey and chocolate in his eyes pop. Alec, even from across the room, could see the shine of the lip gloss on his lips.

"Magnus," Alec breathed his name like a prayer and he supposed to him it was one. "You look- by the Angel, you look beautiful."

The light blush that appeared on Magnus' cheeks made the brief embarrassment from stuttering disappear within an instant.

Magnus smiled, slowly walking through the room, playing with his fingers like he did when he was flustered. By Raziel, Alec was completely and utterly in love with him.

"Thank you, Alexander...I guess I am still quite good at cleaning myself up, aren't I?" As he spoke, Magnus looked down at himself, hands sweeping down the front of his shirt as if it had dust on it.

"That is an understatement," Alec replied, meeting Magnus in the doorway of the balcony, hands immediately landing on his waist. "Hey."

Magnus' smile reached his eyes for the first time in days from the simple touch and breathless greeting.

"Hi darling."

With all the struggle and trial and error of the last few weeks the kiss they shared in that moment made everything, every word, every loss, every broken bone and near death experience worth it. Even if it was short and sweet. Holding Magnus, kissing Magnus,  _ loving  _ Magnus, would always be worth it.

When they finally stepped away, not too far of course, never too far, Magnus finally got the chance to see all the decorations on the balcony. And it made his stomach erupt in butterflies because Alec had done all of it for  _ him.  _

There were fairy lights strung up all around, creating a pleasant glow on the balcony. An elegant but simple table in the middle covered in a red cloth and glasses and plates. And so many  _ roses.  _ A dozen, maybe two at least, if not more.

The obvious amount of effort put into it made Magnus want to hug and kiss Alec until he couldn't think straight.

He had to blink back tears before looking up at his boyfriend and finally saying, "This- this is beautiful, Alexander."

Alec had tried to resist the urge to respond with "not half as beautiful as you" but it came out anyway. The blush adoring Magnus' cheeks made it worth it though.

Alec softly took one of Magnus' hands (ironically his left, but he wouldn't think too hard about that right now) and led him over to his chair. He waited for Magnus to take his seat before he pushed in his chair then made his way over into his own seat.

They spent a few moments just simply looking at each other, like they did sometimes, then naturally began talking about their respective days, though they were less eventful than they used to be. At some point Alec had poured them some sparkling cider (Magnus had insisted that he drink less now that he was mundane and it could actually affect him) and had one of Magnus' hands in his to serve as a constant anchor for his boyfriend and himself.

At some point their conversation slowed, going to soft murmurs of love and support then quiet again.

It was a moment later when Magnus sat up a little, crossing one knee over the other, never letting go of Alec's hand.

"Well," Magnus smiled softly, squeezing his hand. "What have you planned for us to eat Alexander?" He asked, looking at the covered platter in front of him.

Alecs heart began to race again, attempting to seem calm and relaxed under Magnus' gaze.

Alec licked his lips nervously, before responding. "See for yourself."

Magnus tilted his head, eyes squinting curiously in a way that shouldn't have been so adorable before he reached for the lid. Alec held his breath watching as Magnus lifted the silver lid, watching as he stopped abruptly and how his eyes widened in surprise. The hand in Alec's suddenly gripped tight, Magnus looking at him like he was trying to figure out if he was dreaming or not.

Alec smiled encouragingly, squeezing his hand back. "Go ahead," he was surprised how smooth his voice sounded. "Open it. It's for you."

Magnus let go of his hand then, slowly and hesitantly, hands trembling the slightest bit as he reached for the metal ring box. Alec's heart stuttered again when he glanced up once more before opening it. Tears gathered in Magnus' eyes, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to find words through his surprise.

Alec took that as his que and slid off his seat and onto the ground, on one knee he grabbed one of Magnus' hands, holding the box with him before he cleared his throat.

"Y'know," Alec cleared his throat again when his voice cracked, emotion gathering in his own eyes. "I've thought about these words quite a bit in the past twenty four hours, but nothing seems to describe just how in love I am with you. No words seem to make this speech mean as much as I want it to. But, for starters, you, Magnus Bane, you are incredible." Alec knew Magnus was speechless because his boyfriend didn't even try to deny it. "I meant it the other day when I said there was a spark in you that lit up whole rooms. There's just something about you, something that makes people want to smile, makes them feel a sense of hope and happiness when you walk into a room."

A tear falls from Magnus' eye and Alec doesn't hesitate to lift his free hand to brush it away with his thumb, cupping Magnus' cheek and smiling when he leans into his palm.

"You completely uprooted my whole entire world and flipped it completely inside out. You gave me hope for a better future for myself, you make me want to fight against all odds and all enemies. Magnus, you make me want to be a better person...I know that the past few weeks have been hard." He can't help but laugh a little self deprecatingly. "Hell, that's an understatement. They've been excruciating, to say the least. It has blown my mind how strong you are. You just constantly endure and just knowing that you trust me enough to come to me when it becomes too much, means more than you can know." Alec's voice cracks again, but this time he allows the emotion to bleed through. "You have been by my side through everything these past few months. You have held my hand when I needed comfort. You've fought by me to save Jace. Izzy. Clary, all of them. I see you and I see the way the world treats you and I see the way you treat the world in return and...Magnus, you just deserve everything good."

Alec takes a deep breath, preparing himself for both outcomes.

"I know that now, in the middle of a war, and with everything else going on it might not be the best time for this kind of thing. But, I don't care. All I care about is making sure you're safe and happy. I know right now you aren't, at least not as happy as you could be, but there is nothing I want more right now than to make sure you know just how much I love you. How much I want to be here. With you."

Magnus leans closer to him, their foreheads pressing together and more tears spilling from his eyes. Alec has never seen anything more beautiful than him.

Alec sighs, rubbing their noses together gently. "I told you several days ago that I was nothing without Jace, but I've come to realize that isn't true. If I were to lose Jace, it would hurt, it would be one of the worst things I could ever experience but I would survive it. I know I could survive losing a piece of my soul." He can see the smallest bit of confusion grow into the mix of emotions in Magnus' eyes, so he quickly continues. "But, Magnus, I've also realized that if I were to lose you...I wouldn't survive. You are my heart, baby, and I know I can't live without my heart. I told you once that I couldn't live without you and that has only become more true every day. Especially after I came so close to...to-"

Magnus makes the smallest heartbreaking sound, as if he can feel Alec's pain from just thinking about what could have happened. What  _ did  _ happen if only for a few moments. He let's go of the ring box, giving it to Alec so he can cup his cheeks, keeping their heads pressed together.

He takes a deep breath and then whispers so quietly that Alec almost doesn't hear him. "Ask me."

It's only two words but it makes Alec remember why he's here. "I want to spend the rest of my life making sure you know how much I love you. How I can't live without you. Magnus Bane," he pauses just briefly, taking it all in before finally,  _ finally  _ letting the words leave his mouth. "Will you marry me?"

As if he was holding it in, Magnus sobs softly when the words leave Alec's mouth. He nods. Alec's heart absolutely sours before Magnus speaks.

"Yes." Magnus breathes out the word like it's the only thing he's ever wanted to say. "Yes, of course I'll marry you." His smile is the brightest it's been in days.

The kiss they share feels like coming home. Magnus clings to Alec through it, arms wrapping around his neck and thighs pressing to his waist. Alec uses the hand on Magnus' cheek to keep the kiss sweet and slow, despite how much he'd like to deepen it and never stop. When neither of them can go any longer without air they pull back, Alec laughing, happy tears spilling from his own eyes. Magnus bites his bottom lip, untangling one of his hands from Alec's hair to hold his hand out between them and Alec doesn't even need to think before he's moving on instinct. The Lightwood ring fits like it was made for Magnus' hand and as it slides on smoothly Alec's heart races again because it looks so much better than he anticipated.

"It's a bit much for an engagement ring, huh?" Alec asks, thinking of the beautiful but delicate rings he's seen mundanes wear.

The sound Magnue makes forces Alec to look up at him. "No," Magnus mumbles. "It's perfect."

Alec smiles widely, unable to resist the urge to peck his  _ fiance's  _ lips a few times in response.

Magnus cups both of his cheeks to keep him still, a delighted giggling slipping from his lips when Alec attempts to kiss him again. His hands slide down to Magnus' waist, pulling him to the edge of his chair to get as close as possible.

Magnus clears his throat, sighing as he really finally begins to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

"Alexander I-" he sniffles, running one of his hands through Alec's hair as he speaks, more of a distraction for himself. "Thank you." He continues when Alec opens his mouth in confusion. "I'm not healed yet. In fact, I don't know for sure if the hole in my chest will ever completely close. But I know for a fact that if I didn't have you by my side, I wouldn't have been able to survive this loss."

He still hadn't said it, he could barely think about the words "lost" and "magic" in the same sentence. He didn't think he could ever say it.

"For a little while I didn't see any end to this pain. Mostly when I was completely helpless as you were recovering from your injuries a few weeks ago. I felt like there was nothing that would ever give me the same feeling as my magic did. But then, all you would do was smile at me or hold my hand, something so simple and small and suddenly I would feel it again. Just the smallest bit of hope." Magnus smiled, barely reaching his eyes, but genuine if nothing else.

He pressed as close as he could to Alec, seeking the comfort he knew the shadowhunter was there to give. "With every touch and every smile you have given me, it has filled a little bit of that hole. I can see myself being happy, living an amazing long life with you. One where we can get married, have children and grow old together. A life that doesn't scare me anymore." Alec held him close, pressing the foreheads together again. "I know now that living without my magic will be painful, it will be one of the hardest things that I will ever have to go through, but I think- no, I know that I can get through it as long as you're by my side. Because losing you Alexander, I wouldn't be able to survive it either. I can't live without you either."

Alec didn't know it was possible for his heart to skip so many beats in such a short amount of time. He didn't know that he could ever feel the way he did in that moment. A few more tears fell from both of their eyes as they embraced each other as closely as they could, sharing several more kisses too.

It took them a few (re: several) moments to untangle themselves and actually eat the dinner than had been prepared. They moved the chairs next to each other because it was almost impossible for them to stop touching each other. Holding a hand, feet tangled together, kisses here and there. It was everything Alec wanted it to be.

He savoured every moment and when they went back to his bedroom, he made love to Magnus, showing him how much he meant every word he said during his proposal, mesmerized by the light reflecting off of the Lightwood ring.

Yes. Everything he wanted.

**Author's Note:**

> I may add a little more to this in the future like continuing from where this ended to play with how things with Jonathan might have planned out around this. And maybe the wedding. We'll see 👀
> 
> Have a good night guys, ily. All kinds of feedback are appreciated :D
> 
> I'll see y'all in the next one!


End file.
